Thursday, March 8, 2012

Say You'll Share With Me One Love. One Lifetime.

Adam and I went to high-school together, and whilst always friends, we were never childhood sweethearts. We fell out of touch after high-school ended. The first time we met again was when my friend Claire convinced me to go to an Eagle Farm Race Day - my first ever race day. It was also my first time ever drinking champagne... in the middle of the day and in the sun. It was also the first time I ever vomited from drinking. I will never forget the support I got from the women in the cubicles beside me. I have no idea who they were. But every time I heaved, I felt the need to tell them that it was my first time... and they would tell me 'you're doing really well honey'. Needless to say, my hot-pink high heels ended up tied to my AstroBoy handbag, and I spent most the day sitting on the grass where Adam joined me and we spoke at length about different Japanese animations. We spent the whole time talking non-stop, and nothing naughty or romantic happened. After that, Adam invited me to his 21st birthday which I couldn't go to. He continued to invite me and my brother Tim up to his place in Brisbane where he lived with other friends of ours Simon and Sam. We went and good drunken times were had.
The photo above, that was the night Adam and I happened. After drunken festivities at the Bromley Street house, my crazy-eyed baby-faced brother passed out on the lounge, Buck vomited in front of everyone (I won't show you the photo's of that), and we headed out to the Valley and danced on stage at the GPO. Still one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen is Tom (far right) falling backwards off the stage as his beanie bobbled on his head and fell over his face. That was the night Adam Pommer put his hand on my leg.

And I thought to myself "Oh my God. Adam Pommer has his hand on my leg. Oh my god. I think I like it!". And the rest is history...
Adam and I have been together since I was 20 and he was 21. The photo above is us the day after my 21st birthday celebrations, having lunch at my Nan's. Remember when I told and showed you how Adam loves to ruin photo's? Well it started the day I turned 21. Aunty Tam was doing her best to take a nice photo, but Adam couldn't help himself.
That was was 2004. Back when we were both in Uni and I frequently wore Ugg boots as day shoes.
The year of 2005 saw me move from Tweed to Brisbane to begin my first year as a Registered Nurse. When I applied for my job I was hoping to work in Paediatrics or Theatres, so when I was offered a job in the Mater Kids Operating Theatres you can understand, I was pretty ecstatic. I moved out of home and chose to rent a super-cute little 3 bedroom settlers cottage in Woolloongabba, just a short walk from work. It had a kitchen that felt like it was going to fall off the back of the house, a bathroom door that flung open at any given moment, and a teeny-tiny sink (that makes me all the more grateful for my dishwasher - which I still LOVE). Adam moved in almost immediately.
MovieWorld 2005
Cairns 2005 - Adam's first ever plane trip!
November 2005 Believe it or not... Off to the Murwillumbah Races!
Already being friends with the eldest of my brothers, Adam very quickly became a part of the Drew family and all that it entails.
Mater Family Christmas Picnic 2006
Brooms Head 2006/2007 and the Tramampoline
It's still in working order, we were out on it this year!
Adam's Batman Birthday Cake 2007
Adam and I broke up in September 2007. It was me who made the break and it was one of the hardest things I've done. It was not for lack of love. It's more complicated and intimate than could or should be discussed online, but basically we were at different places in our life. I was ready to start saving for a house, get married and have babies. Adam was still at Uni, and like alot of his friends of the same age, didn't want to start thinking about that stuff until he was thirty. He moved out, postponed uni, moved back to Tweed and got a full-time assistant manager position, while I stayed on living and working in Brisbane. I cried that year when I turned 24 and realised I wasn't going to be the young mother I always wanted to be. We kept in contact, with Adam coming to visit on my birthday and at Christmas. 

Adam came back fighting.

He wanted me, the house, the white picket fence and the kids. We started dating again at the start of 2008 and by April Adam was in Thailand with the Drew family, for his first trip overseas.
Adam's Birthday Beach Pub Crawl in Koh Lanta, Thailand.
Adam steering our longtail boat.
The day after we got back from Thailand, I went to see Phantom of the Opera with my friend Claire and totally fell in love with it. In August 2008, we went on another holiday - this time just the two of us. Adam and I went to Sydney to visit Tim and Lisa, where - at my encouragement, we all went to see Phantom of the Opera. Adam loved it just as much as me, and I downloaded the soundtrack. We then went on an awesome little camping trip to Goomburra. We were the only people camping out in the middle of nowhere. It was glorious, and we sang along to the music from the Phantom of the Opera while we relaxed and dined on awesome food cooked in the coals of our campfire.
For my birthday in October 2008, Adam threw me an absolutely amazing Halloween themed 25th birthday party. There was so many fantastic costumes, and everyone seemed to have a great time making shake-faces and getting drunk on teapot shots and Adam's potent dry-iced punch!

2009 was the year Adam proposed.

Tim was up from Sydney and we were heading off for a family picnic and I had absolutely no idea what was coming. We picked a nice little spot beside Kingscliff Creek. It was a windy day and Tim was snapping photo's with his new DSLR Camera. I saw a man walking in a full suit with a violin and I nudged Adam and said - 'hey check out this idiot busking on a day like today'. His reaction was 'No Kristy' as he pried the always classy west-coast cooler out of my hand, I still didn't understand what was going on. That's when I heard the violinist play 'All I Ask of You' from Phantom of the Opera and I immediately burst into tears.
He told me he loved me, that he wanted me to be his wife and the mother of his children. And of course I said yes!!!

In November 2009, we bought our first home. A 2 bedroom duplex with a massive internal brown brick wall. It was a good price, liveable but dated - we looked forward to making it our own. We moved in literally a few days before Christmas of 2009. Having both quit our full-time jobs in Brisbane, the jobs we had lined up on the coast didn't work out as we had planned - but thankfully we were able to live off our savings until we both secured our full-time permanent positions. The house reno's that the money was previously planned to be used for, would have to be put on the back burner.

2010 was a massive year.
First came our Engagement Party.
Followed by an awesome family Thailand holiday in April with a total of 9 of us - aged 13 to 70 trekking around Thailand for a month and a half.
An engagement/practice photo shoot.
And on October 30th 2010, in a gorgeous gothic church in the little town of Maclean, Adam and I professed our love for one another in front of our family and friends.
And celebrated our day in an old hall by the beach in our happy place, Brooms Head.

We have the house (minus the picket fence), we're married, we both have reliable full-time positions, now it's time to turn this family of two and a cat, into more than that.
Sometimes having babies isn't as easy as most think.
We started actively trying in January 2011. By August 2011 we still weren't pregnant so we decided to start slowly doing some tests, to get the ball rolling. I had some blood tests which were fine and Adam had two lots of semen analysis, both with bad results. Low count, poor mobility, bad shape. The GP referred us to an IVF specialist. Mid September 2011 we had our appointment with the specialist, who told us that with those test results we have very, very, very little chance of falling pregnant. Whenever sperm is involved, there is always a chance (it only takes one in the end) but realistically - if we were to have unprotected sex for the next ten years we might get a (singular) baby out of it, but odd's were that we wouldn't. We definitely want children, and most might consider us young, but we want a big family and the longer we leave it, the less chance we have of attaining it. So it was decided that ICSI IVF was the only option for us. ICSI is the most complex form of IVF where under a microscope they take my egg and one of Adam's good sperms and using a microscopic needle a scientist injects the sperm directly into my egg.
Five days after our appointment with the specialist, I did a pregnancy test expecting the usual negative, but instead got this:
We couldn't believe our luck! We were pregnant! And by natural means! It was an absolute miracle. In fact we couldn't believe it so much that I actually did two trips to the local BiLo to buy more pregnancy tests. Yes, I did go through the same checkout twice. Unfortunately, it didn't last long and at the start of October 2011, the day we we began building our deck - I started spotting. We went to the hospital where an ultrasound and blood tests confirmed we were having a miscarriage. It was absolutely shattering for both of us.
We proceeded as planned, with ICSI IVF having our first egg collection in mid November 2011. Fifteen eggs were collected, 11 were inseminated, 9 fertilised and in the end we were left with 3 text-book perfect blastocysts. One was transferred five days after the collection, the other two were frozen as 'snow babies' for later. Considering our situation, we were given odds of 50% chance of falling pregnant... which is massive when you consider that a healthy, fertile couple actively trying for babies only has 20% chance each month! Unfortunately the fresh little blastocyst baby (I called him Petri) never took. We had one of our 'snow babies' defrosted and transferred in mid December 2011, also with no success. Our final blastocyst was transferred in late January and when it didn't work, we decided to change specialists to someone I regularly work with who is closer to home.
Having taken our whole history into account, it was decided that I had an implantation problem, and that I would need surgery to see whether there was an explanation as to why I wasn't falling.
Yesterday I had a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, D+C and dye studies. Which means they put me to sleep, to have a look in my abdomen, a look in my uterus, take tissue samples and test whether my fallopian tubes are patent. Well, it turns out there was in fact, a lot wrong with me. My endometriosis was removed, a polyp in my uterus was removed, one of my tubes were blocked and I had a fimbrial cyst. All of which hinder pregnancy.
When I came out of anaesthetic I felt like I'd been hit. Maybe not by a bus or truck, but definitely like a large car, maybe a 4WD. And boy was I spaced out for hours and hours afterwards. I've had a few general anaesthetics before, but they were for shorter, less invasive procedures and I always woke up feeling great. This was a whole other kettle of fish. Adam was a wonderful husband. He brought me home to a big bunch of flowers, which he put beside my bed. He was constantly providing me with heatpacks, glasses of water and medication.
This morning I woke up to my substitute child Leo, watching over me. Occasionally giving me loving little sandpaper licks on my forehead.
As I have said before, this whole experience has, and continues to be - a crazy, expensive, massive roller-coaster ride. You hear so much about IVF ruining relationships, but for Adam and I - it is absolutely the opposite.
I have to say that I feel so much better about my miscarriage right now. There is nothing I did to cause it. We were against the odds from the start.
It truly sucks that we have to go through this, but right now I can't help but feel positive. I am in a rock-solid relationship with a man I love soooo much. We both have fertility problems, but now they are all known - we can tackle them all head on. And my god, when we finally do get our baby - they will know with absolute certainty, just how much they were wanted.

To Fertility and Beyond!